to see bebe again!!

sweet stuff to remember

I know thing haven't been going so smooth.. regarding my life.. sighz.. its just the downz.
xian...
But today.. just holding his hand at the coffee shop seemed like enough.. den i looked at him.. and thought.. that someday soon... i will not be able to hold his hand as and when i like anymore.. he'll be so far away in china.. and i ask myself.. why i'm complaining and whining about how he's not spending enough time with me.. like.. duh!!!
The fact is.. i get to see him now.. i get to hold him.. to hug him..to snuggle up to him..
i was touching his abs today..haha.. felt as if i can grate cheese on it... i just love him so much..
I'm gushing.. i'm silly.. i know..

a very heavy heart

So many things.. i wanna pen.. can't really describe how i'm feeling now.
That feeling of having a big chunk of your life torn off from you is back again. Ah boon is finally going to china to work. I guess it has to happen one day. I knew it from the beginning of our relationship. I just didn't think saying goodbye can be so upsetting and even more painful.
He wants me relocate to china with him in the near future. I am very hopeful. I just need to take this time to get used to him not being around me anymore.
Yes.. i do admit... i really hate it when he pisses me off or when he's in one of his moods. but now.. if there is a choice.. i would rather have all his mood swings in exchange for him not having to go to china.
He asked me how i felt about the whole thing.. i looked at him and told him supportively to go.. to make a career out of this chance...but its just so hard. I cried alot these past few days.. i dunno how to be strong.. i know he hates to see me cry... but now..instead of leaving me alone in one corner..like he usually does.. he hugs me.. and tells me that everything's gonna be alright... that we'll see each other again.. that will only be apart for the most 3 months.. 12 weeks.. 12 weeks???
i need to be strong.. and hold my head up high.. i cannot let him know or feel that i'm worried, upset and sad.. i need to be strong for him... i need to be.. for our future.. so that he may go and venture in peace.

I'm so swamped with work

Me swamp with work.. and i have a meeting later on a project at 6.15pm... wahz liew... after office hours... can't believe it..
I'm so tired.. but i dun bother to sleep.. so zek ark

hmmz..

We're ok again.. I guess..
Does silence and not toking about it means ok?

I quarrelled with ah boon again

Sighz.. this is getting bad! I dunno why we're quarrelling on every other day again. Reminds me of those awful moments in the past when i was with him. I was getting used to the feeling of not having to fear him.. and now its all coming back again!
I'm so upset.. I dunno what to do!

i'm so tired..

I couldn't get to sleep last nite... so tired.. only slept at about 0530 in the morning.. xianz.. and i think.. i have pimples popping out le... need to sleep early soon!! me took alot of nicey photos today.. and i also went to do my nails. i shall make it a point to do my pedi every month!!! yawnz.. at least today's gonna be a lot cooler without the aircon... its raining cats and dogs... muacks.. good nite world!!!

ah boon not in good mood

My ah boon not in very good mood these days.. must be cos its a new change in job lah.. but den again.. so xian..
Everytime.. he's not in a good mood.. I would think i am the cause of it!! Sometimes.. I try very hard to just be the good gerfren that I am infront of his frens.. but i can't.. i won't throw tempers or what.. but i'll just sit by myself and not want to socialise..and pple would think that we just quarrelled.. I mean.. how to socialise when i'm not in the mood.. Xiao ah!!!
I dunno lah... Sometimes.. I find it really difficult to tell someone about my problems.. I can't tell to those that do not know ah boon..cos they'll misjudge him.. I can't tell those who know ah boon cos i'm afraid they might go and tell him!! So tired!!! Dunno what to do!
Sighz.. I know this will pass.. it always does.. and when it passes.. i'll look at this entry in the near future and laugh at myself for being so silly to worry boutz such a small problem.. but den.......
Double sighz.. he always gets like this... Its this weird PMS thingy he goes through every few months.. and i really hate it.. He'll find fault with and make me upset.. and den turns around and tells me that he's not good to me.. blah blah blah.. I'm beginning to feel he's just saying it cos he just wants to say it.. He says it..but he doesn't do anything about it... I'm so tired.. I feel like crying!!!
Den there's this thing that happened this afternoon that would ordinarily make me pissed off if it happened to be any of my ex bfs.. but with him i just can't be angry with him.. I just can't.. cos i know he can really be really really mean and bad-tempered and i really dun want to quarrel with him..
I mean.. sometimes.. he'll complain bout his life and stuffz... and everytime when he tells me these things... i just wanna hug him and tell him that its alright..and i'll stand by him no matter what.. but i can't..because he can get really chauvanistic.. and i dun want him to feel that he's weak or a loser.. so i just tell him..that I love him...and i tell him that several times a day.. i just want to assure him that i'm here that i'll be here for him..no matter what.. but he blew at me..and said things like.. "why do you always have to say I love you so many times a day!! You not xian one ah?" i was so upset.. but i couldnt' do anything..sighz.. maybe i'm really very lor sor!!!
I just want him to be the cheery ah boon again.. i hope that day is tmr!!! Forgive me...i'm just ranting.. i'm not angry with him.. i just want to vent it in my blog.
I have 2 pimples near my mouth... ah boon say.. i eat already never clean my mouth properlY!!! hahaha
me love him much much

back from work!!

Hihi!!! I'm finally back home!!! so tired. .just packed my bag for tmr!!! must remember to bring chinese discs for elaine.. wait.. go and put in my bag first before I forget!!!
Tmr its gonna be one more day without ah looi!! so sad.. seems like the whole office is not here..sighz.. all either on course.. going on leave...etc etc etc!!!
My ah boon promised that next month.. even if nobody goes to m'sia with us.. we'll still go ahead with our trip!! Secretly.. I hope everyone can't make it..cos i really wanna go on this trip together with him. We have never travelled out of singapore alone as a couple before.. Not if you consider Sentosa as travelling.. HAHAHA!!
Let's see... i just trimmed my eyebrows.. so tmr.. i must make it a point to wake up early..and at least make myself feel that i'm not wasting money one eye make up..by actually..putting on some eye make up!!! hmmzz... and i think i can feel leg hair growing already..so i must remember to epilate em soon!! but not tonight.. too tired..
i feel like applying bath and bodywork's sweet pea tonight... kinda miss that smell..but!!!!! my air con not working..so its gonna be very hot tonight... I dun wanna wake up feeling sticky tmrz!!!
For those who are moisturizer freaks.. like me... should got try love spell by VS!!! damn shiok... apply already... your other half sure very turn on one.. i know my was!!!
Ok.. nothing much le!! I'm going to watch my last 4 episodes of the abalone hk drama.. tata
Here's a photo of me ...when i was downstairs taking a break!!

me at workz

Me now in office!! waiting for ah looi... so that we can go and have lunch together.
This morning.. when i woke up.. my back was hurting so bad... i can barely move.. but still..came to work!! haha.. I think .. i kinda felt better after sitting down at my workstation and started working.. So busy!! So much stuff to clear!! sighz..
Hmmzzz..too bad!!! my office PC does not have a bluetooth function.. Think the IT pple disabled it..so i can't attached some of the photos i took today in my handphone.. oh well... will do it at home...
And now.. i'm still waiting for that ah looi!!!
Stomach growling already!!! hmphz...

me me me!!!

Not much action these few weeks.. esp after coming back from KL!!!
Me and ah boon and the rest of the group are planning to go genting next month... yay yay!!! crossing my fingerz... hope this trip will come true!
I fell sick twice in a month. The doctor told me that the virus wasn't completely gone from the first bout as i wasn't put on antibiotics.. so she gave me a 5 day dosage of it for the throat! its sunday.. and i haven't finished the medicine yet!! sighz...
So exciting... so many new movies coming out.. The happiest part about it is.. ah boon is religiously watchin em' with me. We went to watch Pirates, Shrek 3 and Fantastic 4 2 weeks in a row!! tee hee hee.. and he promised to go watch Transformers and Harry Potter with me!



My back is hurting really badly!! sighz.. it was so bad this morning.. i couldn't sit and walk properly!!! Hopefully its cos of my period.. if it doesn't get better tmr.. I'm going to see the Doctor!!!
I went back to work last saturday!!! Actually.. going back on saturday is quite useful!! Can clear quite a no. of stuffz!!!
anywayz.. i'm tired.. just taken my cough mixture and feeling rather drowsy now!!
Here's a photo of my ah boon's arm!!! SO SEXY!!!

my hubz in Japan

bling bling!!!

ME :好看吗？？$41,000 only
AH BOON : $41.000 only... Can BUY!!! You buy first... Later I give you $50.00
ME : .........

Koonz Koonz

I took photo of my Ah boon... SLeeping...

Bored!!!

Flipping through Today newspaper. Today is world Environment Day. So we're supposed to BYOB when we go shopping.. Groceries or otherwise. It'll be good to walk home too if you can take the heat!! HOrHOrHOr
Me our of office today. Attending a course at SIngpaore college of Insurance at Suntec Tower 2. The lecturer's actually quite interesting talking about legal liability cases. Apart from the fact that I had to wake up 1/2 hour earlier than usual and nearly falling asleep in class in the earlier half of the workshop, everthing's still quite bearable. sadly, the population of the class not much of a looker. A few aunties here and there, one pretty chio babe that looks like a malay, one gay maybe..and also a nerd that's from MAS and reads Macbeth. FYI, sitting beside me.. and oh GAWD..he talks to himself.
I hate lunching alone. Not in the mood to mingle and make new friends. HA! So i walked around aimlessly during the 2 hour break lunch. Sat down at starbucks. read a mag, had a sandwich and an espresso.. Here's what's left of it

The weather's so hot and I feel so restless. yawning like crazy... This whole shit will prob end @ 5pm.. Supposedly, I'm going straight home. But there's nothing much to do at home now anywayz. I'v finished watching the new HK drama serial... Will try my luck HBO laterz..
Sighz.. i read going to work tmr.. Hope there wont' be any explosive cases.
My darling sister called during lunch to bitch about her boyfriend. He has anger management issues. I think so too... Actually, to think about it, I think my boyfriend has anger management issues too. Just that, I think I got too intimdated by his temper & he noticed. Apparently, he has actually toned down a fair bit. But I can tell, he's finding it real difficult but still keeping it in control.
Ah boon (Boyfriend) workign late today. Sighs... I hate it when he works late or works on weekends. But well, its for our future... Glad that he's working hard!!

MOI!!!

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Back From KL!!!

Phewz!!! I'm finally back in Singapore.. It was a long, sweaty, stuffy journey back!!!
I think its me.. Everytime when I go up to KL... nothing good happens... This time.. even though the situation wasn't that bad..but still it wasn't the most enjoyable route back home.

Ok.. before i rant about journey home... Let me just update what i did for the past few days up North.

Wed 30/05/2007
Went to work as usual and knocked off at 5.45pm.. went straight to Goldenmile complex to board the coach to KL. Arrived in KL at about 1230 midnight.. took a cab to ah looi's sister's condo.. nice place. very spacious...We met her there and went downstairs to a near by coffeeshop for prata. After which we got comfortable and took our shower ... Laid down on the bed to chit chat.. ok... nvm..gossip is more like it.. Finally fell asleep at about 5am as ah looi's sister, Kat, still had to work the next day.





Thurs 31/05/2007
Terrible... the water pump at Kat's condo broke down.. There was no water supply until 11am... so Kat couldn't go to work... HAHAHA.. Its fate... so we cleaned up after 11am.. went to KLCC to KLKK and have our lunch.. We went to Mdm Kwan's Nasi Lemak restaurant... Actually...the food really quite nice... but a lil' overpriced.. Like for eg... a small saucer of Ikan Bilis will cost u about RM7 which is damn stupid...but den again... We also went to collect tix to go cross the bridge at KLCC.. at 6.30pm.. Den we went to Time square and went to try out their theme park!!! wah..the indoor theme park is damn exciting... the rides are so kewl.. i tot i was gonna die!! haha... den after which we went to eat basken robbins ice-cream... damn fucking cheap there!!! After that we went home..cos some of us got a lil' sick!!! Went back, took a nap..den we went to eat Korean BBQ... best.. I felt like DA CHANG JIN!!! After that went home.. drank some martell and slept..

Fri 01/06/07
We got up at about 10 in the morning and went to a nearby place to have zhu rou mian!!! I just love the kopitiams in M'sia.. NO yellow box..can smoke anywhere... It was quite ok.
After which we took a cab up to Genting. Me didn't really paly at the table. Kat was only interested in Blackjack, or they call it pontoon. There's one dealer there called Cheong Wai.. damn bloody cute. According to Kat, there are many cute dealers aroud. Actually I treid my hand and lost RM50.00. That's it.. I close shopt. Kat los about Rm1,700. She said its not too bad... *looks shock* After getting out from the smoky casino, we went to have pizza. Not bad, after that we took a cab down to Bhangsa (something like Holland V) Chose a pub called telawi street bistro.. had some drinks and went back


Sat 02/06/07
We woke up quite late, went to have Bak Kut Teh (Black soup Base) Also not bad but didn't taste herbal enough. Than it started to pour...
I'm impressed with the chinese in Malaysia... Seriously.. if you're the minority.. what good would it do for you if u fight amongst yourselves.. hahaha... They're so united. All kat needed to do was to open her mouth and aks the BKT Boss. "Can Borrow umbrella to walk to the dessert shop across the street." The boss actually got one of her staff to shelter us with one big beach umbrella. So hilarious. Will Singaporeans open their mouth to ask? Or Rather will Singaporean's Help?
So we got to the 糖水铺 and I had Kiwi Sago. So tangy and sweet. So new... I always wanted to open a 糖水铺 of my own. One day, when i have enough capital.
We adjourned to Green Box at Sungai Wang after that. Green box is their version of our KBox. Except for the fact that we pay RM 40 per pax for an all you can eat/drink buffet plus solid K-singing for a good 4 hours. I sang till i dropped because nobody firght with me.
By the time we got out of Greenbox. It was turning dark so decided to go Jalan Alor to have our dinner. While walking there, guess who i saw???? hehe

"I.....CAN GIVE YOU GATSBY..... GATSBY.....GATSBY......"
"I.....CAN GIVE YOU GATSBY......GATSBY.....GATSBY......"
I was ecstatic....
Had chinese BBQ seafood dinner. Slurpz slurpz. Just realised that the whole trip was about eating. After that ..we went to a drinking place that resembles bala clava. Lotz of hot ang mos.. and cool malay chicks. What a funny combination.
I was feeling quite at home until I walked into the ladies and saw a ang moh guy tossing his hair infront fo the mirror. I blinked and steppped out to stare at the sign on the front door. It said W and the opposite door was labelled M. I shook my head and went in again and saw the same guy staring back @ me. Seriously.. I tot I was drunk. On my 3rd attempt.. the guy looked at me and said in perfect sissified intonnation... Its ok lah... come in.. I'm gay!!! Kana Sai.. And den he said.. you're in the wrong toilet.. This toilet's for Wierdo (W)... and you're a mermaid (M).. you belong to the next toilet.. I smirked.. Haha!! I guess they are really more open there!!!

Sun 03/06/07
The long winding Rd Home... Basically.. I'm too tired to type... I shall summarize...
*Coach supposed to leave @ 3.30pm
*Coach left without us cos they double issued our tix
*After much delay and argument, we got the 7.30pm coach home at double the price
*The coach only arrrived at 8.30pm
*After 1 hour on the highway, the coach stopped to pick up other passengers whoose coach broke down.
*The coach was overcrowded with people standing. The driver was driving like a sick horse
*We stopped at Batu Pahat instead of Yong Peng
*And den when we were finally reaching johor immigration. The coach stopped @ Lahkin
*We had to transfer to a public bus to the immigration
*It was crowded.. stuff and there no where to seat
*I was tired/sticky/ungry
*I finally got to the Singapore checkpoint @ 2.30am in the morning...
*This was the wrose trip home of my life

I'm going to and buy 4D - 8169

But luckily... i met a new friend... :D