its been 2 days

not been good.. feeling reallie giddy and light headed some times..
headache has been really bad..throbbing in my head...
i hope this is temporary and wlll go away!!!!
lost 3 kg... 27 more kilo to my ideal weight...

4.04pm day 2

Feeling great..and not hungry.. had fishball soup for lunch today.. managed to eat all the fishballs... @ 76kcals...
Stomach felt a little queezy... at around 2-4pm... cos haven't been to the toilet in 2 days.. which is very uncommon for me.. but finally managed to go at around 4pm.
Feel so much better now..
Doing great.. yay yay yay!!! i hope this continues...
*hopeful*

it is now 1035

hey.. i'm feeling great.. and no hunger pangs at all... and i don't feel faint... infact.. i feel pretty normal..
I didn't drink coffee today as this will pack on an extra 30kcals.. i'm drinking the herbal concentrate instead... this is great..
I don't feel tired/lethargic...despite only getting sleep at aroud 3am last night..
I have loads of episodes of cake boss to watch..which i'm looking forward to tonight..
i'm definitely looking forward to getting my iphone 4 tmr..pending any stocks.. all in all.. great!!!
Am also looking forward to my low fat lunch later.. today's indulgence.. fishball soup!!! alright!!!!! 76kcals!!!!!

day 2

Surprisingly.. I woke up feeling quite energetic ... And I didn't nua on the bed!!! I've decided to take my morning shakes at home.. So that my meals are evenly spaced out.

@ home... in the evening..

Was feeling damn sick while on the way home... stomach growling and all i could really think about was a giant cheeseburger...
DIE!!! got home... had my dose of formula 1... much better!!! whew.... swallowed all my supplements with the aloe vera drink..
i'm pleased to report.. my calorie intake today... = 368kcals... woo hoo hoo hoo~~~
Until tmr!!!!!!

pleased to report

Pleased to report that i no longer feel faint. YES...water reallie does help..
tried to aloe vera concentrate drink... it reminds me of something which i've drank when i was young.. Forever Living.. aloe concentrate.. royal jelly!!!! whew!!!!
what a whift!!! but good good good!!!

its 1043..

I'm pushing through..
just found this great website for counting calories..
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/calorie-chart-nutrition-facts
check it out..
Sliced fish soup non-fried is actually only 136cals... i will take that for lunch today..
HOO HAH!!!!!! LALALALAALA!!
Still feeling faint... must be the supplements.. body trying to get used to all the meds... no matter... it will be gone soon..
I'm feeling a little more energetic though.. HOO YAH!!!!

Day 1

Just had my first serving of formula 1 shake.. took it with cold water.. yuckz.. its disgusting..but still bearable... took my total control, my cell-u-loss and my cell activator plus my multivitamin.... getting a little light headed actually.. dont know if its cos of the supplements or its cos.. i'm a little to overwhelmed.. can't believe i'm actually doing this..
I was thinking to myself... if i'm gonna do it.. i might as well do it seriously..
Oops.. just burped.... yuckz.. can taste the tropical fruit punch after taste.. rising in my throat.. and i can tell u.. it ain't really tropical!!!
I'm now drinking.. my kopi-o... KOSONG.. yuckz yuckz yuckz.. but then again.. my caffeine fix of the day... lalalaa...
i even bought energy bars from NTUC yesterday... all health bars.. below 70 cals/bar.
total calorie intake so far =
Formula 1 shake + 250ml of cold water - 90 cals
Kopi-o kosong - 30 cals.
Total = 120cals for breakfast.
will update after lunch!!! lalalala

so excited

Ok.. I just ate my bowl of curry noodles.. And drank my last can of coke!!! Yay All ready for Tmr!!

pre-diet mood

Hey all.. Happy to report that I'm officially starting on my diet Tmr!!! 18/10/2010 will be a very significant day of my life... After 4 years of procrastinating and putting on 25 kg in the process... I've decided to put an end to my medical condition... Being overweight!!! Goodbye to late night suppers.. Fatty foods and my all time Fav... Fries... Goodbye to evil carbonated sugared drinks.. It's going to be difficult to dump you.. But I simply have to kiss u goodbye!!! I'm now weighing at a hefty 78kg.. By end of December 2010, hopefully.. I'll be 63kg.. My target goal.... 53kg!!! I'm feeling really pumped up now.. And can't wait to start!!! Lalalalala!! Wish me luck peeps!!! Cheers!!!

@ home

This year's birthday celebration was a little more downplayed then other years.. but i enjoyed it tremendously... thanks to my family and friends..
Juz wanna say..thank you so much for the good food, the great gifts and the wonderful company...
Also wanna say extra thank yous to the ones that accompanied me when my man-friend was was not available..
Man-friends grandma left this world on 27th september... my she rest in peace..
Amidst all the frenzy.. my man-friend still found time to fly to china to be with.. his other man-friends... oh what do they always say... birds of a feather.. will try ways and means to flock together.. even in desperate times..
So here i am.. all alone.. peace and quiet for the next 6 days.. oops.. wrong.. 4 days have gone..since his flight. he will be back on thursday!! time flies reallie fast..
Its good to get a little peace once in awhile.. No... bebe please do this for me... or bebe please help me make phone call to xxx ..or bebe..can text me my bank account no... i forgot... bebe what is my atm card no? bebe... my bank book name is what ah?.. bebe... internet very slow why ah? bebe.. how come facebook hang ah? bebe... can you help buy dinner? bebe... can u change bedsheet?/ bebe what should i wear tmr?? bebe.. did you see my purple t-shirt? *sweat*... I seriously think.. he will not be able to survive without me..
but anywayz.. so i thought... it'll be cool to finally have time to do some of my own stuff... having a little bit of my own quiet time..
so last night.. i crept into bed.. with my mask... moisturised every part of my body.. made a little cup of tea.. tried to read my read of the month.. watched a little of tv... and then i think to myself.. hmm...something's missing...
sigh... it was him!!!!

Super busy week ahead...!!!

Welcome 2nd week of july!!! Is it that time of the month already!?!?! Amidst all the crazy worldcup football craze... i have managed to schedule everything i absolutely need to do.. into this coming week.
Monday... going to see eclipse with xiao hong.... we booked the gv gold class tix for $28/pax.... gonna have dinner there too...
world class in-house cook.. cooking for us neh!!! at least..that's what was written on their website.. think i'll have the "zhao pai" cheese burger tmr... and am gonna wash it down with a glass of soda cooler of some sort....
Tuesday.. gonna go adrian's house to mj... Gary's back from.. i think..australia... i dunno lah.. that guy flies everywhere.
Anywayz.. i have yet to find a the 4th ka for the game yet.. msged winnie a few days back.. but she told me to be confirmed later..
Wednesday.. meeting sister at Ion.. we're gonna go get her LV wallet... to tell the truth..i'm quite tempted to get myself an LV wallet too.. i sorta wore off my miu miu already.. the patented pink croc leather..has now turned into a very dull shade of gray on some parts... heart pain.... the miu miu cost me a total of $550 leh... xianz.... if i'm gonna get myself an LV again.. i'll definitely go for the SARAH wallet... either the vernis... which looks like this....

or the epi leather... which looks like this..

On thursday... i'm going out with jacqueline and xiao hong... to paragon to buy her fit flops... probably have to go far east... to buy some earring materials... and also to kinou to buy the craft books..and if we're not too tired.. we're probably go to bugis...
play by ear bah!!!
Friday is our claims department chalet.. not staying over.. but still gonna be a whole lot of fun!!!

am very sick.. the sickest yet.. this year..

I was on mc for 2 days... 2 days... i stayed at home.. nursing my health.. waking up every hour of the night.. bringing myself to the doctor.. buying my own dinner... i'm not trying to wallow in self pity... i'm not..
today... bb ask me.. if i felt that he was very bad..that he didn't come over to take care of me.. i shrug... what can i say... anywayz.. he come also no use.. what the fuck can he do... sit beside me and look at me meh?? later he also sick how...??!?! so i keep quite and say no loh...
just now bb called toked about the 2 most long awaited film... ip man and iron man 2... i already told him last night that alot of tickets were being swiped up liao.. he still don't believe..
finally.. in order to pacify me.. he asks me go and book on saturday.. so that's what i went to do..
iron man 2 @ 7.15 and ip man 2 @ 9.45
then jessica had to call like a few hours later.. ask me to book again.. what the fuck.. don't know how to book herself issit??
na beh.. already damn pissed off with her cos of the china trip.. ask me to buy this buy that... and in the end not buy for her... is buy for her colleagues... tamade...
arhh..fuck.. mood swing..maybe auntie coming soon!!! TAMADE~!!!!!

can't sleep..

I sit and wonder... how some things happen for a reason..
how people are always somehow in one way or another interlinked.
If i had never fucked my O levels up.. i wouldn't have landed in CJ. I wouldn't have met the ah lian gang.. i wouldn't have known elvis.. i wouldn't have known boon heng..
If i never ever had a crush on Kimura.. i wouldn't have learned japanese.. i wouldn't have met vincent..
If i had never joined AXA.. i wouldn't have met and made so many wonderful friends..
its so cliche.. haven't you ever noticed.. just one different action/move/decision.. causes a huge chain reaction.. and you may not end up where u are now..

I had fun over the weekend.. boon heng came to my house.. i think he felt really uncomfortable.. he's shy by nature.. even around his friends.. he's always the quiet one at the corner.. listening intently.. drinking his beer.. he was never the boisterous kind.. if he was.. maybe i wouldn't have fallen for him.. I'm not accustomed to dealing with people who are like me... BOisterous and Loud.
My mum told my sis that this guy wouldn't even laugh if you had tickled him.. hahaha.. But.. he is quite farnie sometimes in his quaint sort of way.. we sorta hung out at home.. watching dvd.. i think he particularly enjoyed playing texas hold-em on my apple monitor.. instead of on the iphone.. its really not like this at his own home..
I was busy telling my colleague today.. how different our ways of lives were.. i had everything i wanted... while he had none.. My house had everything that you can ever dream off.. while he had to make do with basic necessities... my colleague looked at me.. and said.. " u sure can adapt... but can he?" can he adapt to your life??
it got me thinking.

Food for thought... i spoke.

here it is.. my first entry of 2010

I was scrolling through facebook while in the train this morning..and i came across my ex's profile.. "In a relationship with" ... oh gawd.. yet another girlfriend.. i think this one is the 3rd one ever since we broke up. But somehow... i felt a lil rush of a funny feeling running down my spine.. wierd.. never had this feeling before.. not even from the girl that was right after me.. this one seemed... let me put it aptly. Very asian and oh so not singaporean.. however.. looked a lil more our age though... To tell u the truth.. she looks like a Taiwanese.. Her name is Summer.. *Snorts*

I carried this feeling with me the whole day.. not being able to place what this feeling was... now i'm drumming my perfectly manicured acrylic nails on my desk.. trying to decipher this odd rush of feeling... hmmmz... can't place it still.

I mean.. i'm very happy with the love of my life now.. i mean i can't complain..he really loves me.. and we've been together for god forbid... 4 years now.. 4 years of bittersweet symphony... i've never been in a relationship with anyone that long before.. and frankly it scares me.. cos seriously.. we know each other so well.. i swear i'll know the moment he's gonna fart.

I mean of cos.. there's this spiteful lil thought i buried deep in the back of my mind that my ex will never be able to find someone as perfect as me.. this hopping from one girl to another seriously puts into question his ability to commit the happily ever after shit that he so readily hangs at the tip of his tongue. grow up boy.. you're 28..

Sometimes.. i asked myself if we could have survived this relationship if that night didn't happen like it did. Sometimes i asked myself if we would have grown out of innocent times and would have led separate lives as a couple.. Sometimes.. i asked myself if i would still love this immature being.. he is afterall.. still the boyfriend that i had loved most..

after 4 years with this one.. yeah sure.. i love him..but not as much as i had the last one.. i'm sorry .. i know if this got to him.. it will hurt him very much.. but i must admit.. i have never really loved this one as much... i know its not fair to him..but i guess i learnt many lessons from failed relationships.. and that got me to where i am now... LOVE??.. that's just another 4 letter word mann!!!

Sometimes.. i would sit and wonder and plan an entire skit on how i would behave if i had bumped into him again.. what will i say.. what will he say.. will i look like i'm better off.. if i had bumped into him with his current beau.. how would i introduce myself.. But seriously... if i really do see him on the streets.. chances are.. i'll probably make a run for it.. in the opposite direction.

So much for starting my first entry of the year..

Food for thought... i guesss...good night!!